My secret

I don't think my secret is hidden in my eyes anymore. If you look closely enough, you'll see it.

No puede cambiar de pasión

I watched 'El secreto de sus ojos' last night. It really was a powerful thing that got me thinking about a lot of things. I was enthralled with it and I felt rather emotional at the end. The title of this blog refers to something from the film which is that you can't change your passion. It kind of resonates throughout the film, you have to stick to what you believe and motivated by a passion for something or a belief that something is right, you'll do it until you can't any longer.

I think this possibly may be in my list of favourite films now.

Restless Mind

It's nearly 3am and I am still awake, contemplating all the things I could be doing. I was up until 2am finishing off a James Patterson book I started on Sunday. I just couldn't put it down. Anyway, that's finished and I now have another 2 of his calling to me, but they'll have to wait. The reason I'm not asleep is because I'm having an intense thought moment - wondering why I can't switch off.
I told myself I'd allow myself to relax, read and catch up with people. Now as it turns out, I am still incredibly broke so I can afford to do very little. The reading part is going well - but perhaps a little too well as it's possibly the reason I am still awake and panicking how I am ever going to have the time or money to do everything I want to do. It's crazy isn't it? I have the same argument with myself way too often.

Tonight, and over the past few days I have been reminded of some things I always wanted to learn more about. Things I used to daydream about every so often in between my daydreams of being a teacher. I have applied for jobs which will get me off these shifts at work and would give me more money. I need both of these things. So while my mind was still fresh, I started looking at courses online, psychology to be precise. It was another thing I loved doing, understanding the way people think (maybe one day I can.understand why I can't sit still when it comes to learning). I also want to learn shorthand, always have and I think it would make writing all this alot quicker instead of typing away on the chacha. I also still have the languages I want to learn, at least sufficient for a comfortable conversational level holiday-wise.

And now I've finally managed to make myself sleepy...... I hope.

Freedom

It has been a strange time. For the past few days I have woken up and I haven't had any Masters work to do. Last Thursday, I handed in my dissertation. It's over and done with.

Now, I have time to do what I want. For the first time in around 10 years, I have nothing but a job to go to. Since 16, I have been either at college or uni and working. Then when I finally got a job, I had a job that meant taking work home. Then I left that job to work part time and do a masters. So I am now at an odd place, unchartered territory. All I have is the part time job. It is strange.

The Masters really did take over everything. It was all I thought about and it filled my spare thoughts. So now, I feel a bit lost but also relieved as I finally can relax a bit.

I've got loads of things I want to do now. I want to read some of the mant books I still have to read and I want a full time job that doesn't take over my life as I want to do some evening courses. Unfortunately, I can't do that while working the hours I am doing at work. This has left me feeling restless. There's so much I could be doing and I can't.

On a positive note, I have managed to get to the gym for a couple of days running and I intend on going tomorrow.