disappointed.....

I can't believe that I actually thought I'd sleep tonight. Very foolish of me to assume that tonight would be any different to any other despite me buying something to help me sleep. It hasn't worked but as I said I was going to start looking at this awake time as maybe some kind of blessing in disguise....it's not so bad. I have had an idea now for a poem I'm entering in a competition at last. So glass half full I suppose!

Out with the old and in with the new

http://www.warringtonguardian.co.uk/yoursay/blogs/warrington_blog/8806520.Out_with_the_old_and_in_with_the_new/

My second blog for the Warrington Guardian.

Another blog.....

Ok, so I am also writing another blog and this other blog is being published by Warrington Guardian. I'm chuffed that I'm writing for something even though it's just a blog. :-) http://www.warringtonguardian.co.uk/yoursay/blogs/warrington_blog/8796899.I_want_to_finish_writing_my_book_this_year/

My test of a good novel is dreading to begin the last chapter. ~Thomas Helm

This is how I have felt with the books I have read recently. On Monday just gone, having finished Die For You by Lisa Unger, I bought her other two from Asda. I started reading Blackout and finished that within 24 hours and last night I finished Sliver Of Truth. All three were incredible, absolutely incredible. Amazing storylines and I just couldn't put them down. I now have quite a few other books to read but I figure I should get this assignment out of the way first that's due in Monday. I'm going to carry on with the assignment after I've written this. The other books I've now got to read (which I've bought for £1 from Asda) are: Velocity by Dean Koontz, Without Consent by Kathryn Fox, Man and Wife by Tony Parsons, A Necessary Evil and A Perfect Evil by Alex Kava, The Flood and A Good Hanging by Ian Rankin and Four Blind Mice, Cross and Double Cross by James Patterson.

Can you believe I'm actually excited about reading them? I can believe it because I know me but to the rest of the world that may sound strange. Even though I barely watch TV as it is, I've watched even less because I'd much rather read lately. I think I'm going to start the Dean Koontz one next. I've wanted to read that for years. On Monday I'll finally get to start it. :-)

Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way. - E.L. Doctorow

This quotation was in a book I have just read. It was one of the oens for a£1. The book is called 'Die For You' and it's by Lisa Unger and it was incredible. An amazingly well crafted book; a page turner. I could barely put it down! There were a few things which 'spoke' to me in this book. This quotation was one of them. It was on the page titled Part 2. Maybe that's how I am going to write my book; I'll make the journey with just the headlights on. After reading this book though, I know the journey is going to be long. This takes me to the next point which stems from the same quotation and ties in with something else in the book.

I actually like driving at night; in fact I prefer it. I have always loved the night time. There has always seemed something special about night time, like it has some strange power and energy that I can't ever describe to someone else. Night has always been the time when I am most thoughtful, most creative, most worried, most calm. I look out at the stars (if I can see them) and I feel like I could get lost. I always used to stay up late when I was younger and I used to love being out at night. I still do. In the early hours of my birthday (just a few weeks ago), when the snow was everywhere and I was looking around and up at the sky I felt the same peace I always used to feel years ago.
Lately I haven't been sleeping. I haven't been able to switch off and I thought that maybe its constantly using the computer late. I think that is it to some extent. But maybe its also a part of me telling me that's when you work best. I noted this some time ago, for some reason I do work well when I work late at night. Words for essays and assignments have always flowed more easily. (Although I have to say sometimes I seem to work very well in the late afternoon - like 3pm-5pm) So back to the book: On page 197, Linda remembers something her father used to say to her as they both suffered from insomnia: "We're the moonwalkers [...] alone with the stars". It seemed so poetic and described how I used to feel when I was younger (I've not slept well for years) and could look up at the stars. So I've decided I am no longer going to view my lack of sleep as an annoyance. I'm going to look at it like I used to years and years ago: a blessing. I'm being given the time to get back to who I am. I'm getting the time to be feel everything I want to, to do everything I can, achieve whatever I can and share it with the stars. :-)

Now just two things - I wish I could write as much for my book as I write for this blog and now that I've said this, I have a feeling I may end up sleeping as soundly as never before.

5 more books

I went into Asda today after work and they had an offer on the books. Certain titles were only £1. So I bought 5 books. I wanted to buy more. I used this offer as an opportunity to get a couple of books by authors I haven't read. So I got a book by Alex Kava, Lisa Unger and Tony Parsons. The first two are crime type ones; the one by Tony Parsons isn't crime. The other two books are both by James Patterson who has to be one of my favourite authors. I got 'Double Cross' and 'Four Blind Mice'. I added them all to my book list (a list I keep of all the books I own) and had my usual daydream of one day being able to have all my books on shelves in alphabetical order un my own mini library with a chair instead of in boxes due to lack of space.
I'm just hoping I have time to read them now that I've got uni work to do again.

Why?

Sometimes things hurt me and I let them go and other times I'm stuck with them. Letting them hurt me over and over again. I feel rubbish.