Birthday Snow

Ok, so here I am. This is being written in the first hour of my birthday. Just 20 minutes until the first hour of 18th Dec is up and then I have another 23 to go. So, how have I spent this first hour of my birthday? Well, let's see. After getting home I ate some toast - mm- bread - always good on my birthday and I've taken a few snowy pictures on my blackberry, but the camera is rubbish and my other camera isn't working at the moment. And now, I'm in bed, cosy, typing this. I honestly don't know what today is going to be like for me. Yesterday (just a few hours ago) wasn't brilliant. The snow part was, as that started before midnight. It really is beautiful. Even my foot being swallowed by the snow makes me smile. I love the snow. It's beautiful and it means I have a 'White Birthday' (as opposed to a 'White Christmas')
I find myself looking out at it, untouched, pure, clean, crisp and just thinking how perfect it is. I look out at it and I get lost in it. It calms me I suppose.
So anyway, back to yesterday....I was rushing around trying to get my work handed in and sorted and pick up a couple bits. I got a bit teary and emotional (I won't say what set me off) but I got into my bed and stayed there until I had to go to work (I got an hour's worth of duvet time).
I went into work and got given a birthday card which was nice. (It told me to have a relaxing birthday - that's something I need) It was thoughtful and then after work, went to my mum's and got her card and a card off my auntie. By the time I left mum's it was already 11.40pm so I thought I may as well stay up, I'm knackered but I may as well see my birthday in. On my own, well, with snow. Then after midnight, I get my first birthday messages on Facebook and one of them really did make me smile. I felt like someone really 'appreciated' me. Sounds strange I know. But it was nice because I felt like I mattered and that how I feel matter.
So maybe, my last 23 hours of my birthday I'm going to stop worrying about things I can't do anything about and start thinking about me, putting me first for just 23 hours and thinking of nothing else. Let's see if I can do it. I'm not sure I've ever managed it!